In a frozen moment in time, Barry’s adventurous life as a mountain climber and photographer changed forever. In 1963 he was on the first American team to ascend Mount Everest. Later he was the first American to scale a mountain in Antarctica. In 1968 while filming other climbers for his mountain climbing expedition business, his helicopter crashed and he survived with a spinal cord injury that cost him the use of his legs. How did he deal with that? How could he possibly pick up where he left off? His whole life was filled with the pleasure of his strong body pushed to the max, leg muscles at his command walking the rugged terrain up craggy hills and wind-swept mountains. My God! Mount Everest, no less.
Survive, he did. But did he thrive? That came later. He was in his late twenties with the rest of his life in front of him. He told me when I interviewed him for my study on what it takes to thrive through adversity that he was fortunate to have a full life to get back to after his injury. Yes, he used a wheelchair to get around instead of his legs and he had to revamp the way he did his mountaineering business, but he actually became more successful at it. He was determined to prove that he might look like a paraplegic but it wasn’t who he was. He continued to challenge himself by white water kayaking all the rivers of the west.
What Barry epitomizes is what I found to be true from my research. Thrivers have particular personality traits that give them the strength of character needed during times of trauma and long-standing difficulties. They also employ particular strategies refined over a life-time of experience that work well for them in, not only keeping them resilient, but in transforming adversity like a magician changing a warty toad into a handsome prince.
I will write and speak more of these traits and strategies in later posts and future podcasts, but for now, I can give you one practical strategy that Barry used after he got through the initial and required time of wallowing in his grief and whining about his unwelcomed circumstances. Well, maybe two strategies.
The first is to honor your grief, especially during a traumatic event in your life. Trauma is sudden. It changes your life in ways you didn’t expect and didn’t want. Injury, the unexpected death of a loved one, a recent diagnosis of cancer, a tornado wipes out your house and town – these are events we need time to work through out of our initial shock. We shouldn’t rush ourselves out of our sadness and anger, our railing and complaining, our tears and ‘why me’s,’ because we are afraid our friends and family will abandon or try to ‘fix’ us. If they are truly our loving supporters, they will be there for us no matter what. No one who is full of life as Barry was will stay stuck in depression.
He did what you, dear reader, as a fellow thriver would do. He took a problem-solving approach to his life. This is the second strategy I will address for the end of this post. Every problem contains a seed for its solution. Barry had an established business, a customer base, and supportive family, friends and colleagues before he was injured. He was also still young and healthy. He adapted the way he physically did things and became a manager rather than a worker in his business. He took stock of his assets rather than dwelling on his losses, and he put a new plan of action into place based on what he decided he could control.
When we have long-standing, on-going illnesses and adversities like chronic pain, abusive relationships, recovering from alcohol and drug addiction, recovering from war and natural disaster related trauma, the same strategies and personality attributes apply. You cycle through them over and over. Instead of, as the saying goes, when in danger and in doubt run in circles scream and shout, thrivers find another route.
Thriving Through It 
